4 Romantic Ideas to Boost Excitement In Your Relationship
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4 Romantic and Fun Ideas to Boost Excitement In Your Relationship, Even If You’ve Been Together Forever!
Love makes the world go round. Or so they say. I mean…sure it does. As long as you don’t have to factor in morning breath, kids, a mortgage, and finances, right? Honestly, even the most hopeful relationships and/or marriages will soon encounter a lull. You know…that sort of comfortable but uncomfortable place where there’s no longer excitement in your relationship. (But lots of predictability!)
Mine and the hubby’s isn’t a conventional relationship. We were friends for 10 years, both venting over boyfriends and girlfriends, college woes, then first-time real jobs to each other over the phone. But when we both ended up with failed relationships in our early 20s–he with a kid, and me with a divorce–we reconnected, but on a different level.
We sort of…fell into a few week relationship before getting engaged. No actual dating (it was long distance). No dealing with another person’s ‘representative’. And no learning each others’ “cute until it’s not cute” mannerisms and habits before jumping right into marriage.
Sixteen years of learning
We’ve managed to make it work now for sixteen years, but I tell ya–boosting excitement in your relationship is no easy task when you have no history of dating in the first place. What we’ve learned along the way ends up sort of re-blossoming every Valentines day. For us, that’s because we were engaged on V-Day. But for the rest of the world that also celebrates this unofficial holiday, it’s simply about the notion that love still exists and should be celebrated.
In our sixteen years, I’ve discovered many truths about marriage and making it work even when you’re totally opposite. Especially when you’re totally opposite, like we are. Because when you live on opposite ends of the spectrum, there’s a ton of work sprinkled with patience and understanding that comes into play before you even think about how to boost excitement in your relationship. But when you can get the former figured out, the latter becomes even more fun!
Here are some of the things we’ve learned:
Sometimes subtle is better.
So, some people are naturally inclined to be loosie-goosie with their opinions, and are able to let their emotions shine with a natural ease. I feel like I’m that way a lot of the time. My facial expressions are dramatic, my opinions are solid, and my voice is loud. My husband is the opposite. So it’s no surprise that every time I’ve tried to be bold in our ‘bedroom endeavors’, it’s not gone as I hoped. I learned that subtle suggestions, small steps at a time, are sometimes better than showing up in a 50 Shades outfit hoping to get super cray for V-day. (Or any day for that matter.)
Plan a surprise.
Whether it’s a surprise gift, trip, or even a date at a way fancier place than you normally go to, just making an impulsive but fun surprise can go a long way in boosting excitement in your relationship. Most couples get into a groove that becomes familiar, then comfortable, then turns into a mind-grating, boring rut. Throw something at him out of nowhere and find the fun together that you used to have. You know, before things got too comfortable. Maybe a surprise getaway with a babysitter all lined up? Or a night out doing something he’s wanted to do forever but wouldn’t pay the money or take the time away from you to do.
Have a major talk.
Ok, I know this sounds super heavy, but if you decide to sit down and work through a few things, whether over a glass of wine, or in a hot tub, getting some major things off your chest with a healthy dose of honesty can go a long way in the excitement department. Let it all out, guard down. And totally trust that your partner is amenable to some changes as well. This can go a long way in the excitability department. Especially for women, which in turn boosts it for men. So maybe come up with some talking points, put on your most patient and loving face. Then get close while whispering some truths and dares to each other.
Compete with each other.
Believe it or not, competing with each other can be incredibly hot! As long as no dirty punches or cheating are involved, passion can ignite from trying to better than the other at something. If you find that this reallly revs things up, maybe try choosing something close to home or a hotel room. 😉
So, I’m not a therapist or anything. But I do know that changing things up can have a really good effect on boosting excitement in a relationship that seems to have gone stale lately. Again–we’ve been married for 16 years, and that alone helps keep things fresh for us. Even a new haircut, a new ‘style’ of clothes, or trying to be more present together.
Want a workbook to go through that addresses 6 goals all couples should have together?
It’s not JUST for newlyweds or engaged couples! Seasoned couples can always use a refresher, too!
Know someone that could use help with boosting excitement in their relationship?
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